Make your introduction request easy to forward

“Could you introduce me to someone on the design team?” sounds like a small favor. It can contain several jobs: identify the right person, decide whether the request is appropriate, work out what you want, and write a credible explanation of why the two of you should meet.

You can do most of that work before asking.

A useful introduction request tells your contact who you hope to meet, the narrow reason, and what would happen next. It also leaves them free to decline without defending the decision. Their relationship is part of what you are asking them to use.

The emails below follow a fictional example: Lena wants to speak with designer Jo about running research with a small operations team. Their mutual contact, Dev, has worked with both. The example is an editorial model, not evidence of a particular reply rate.

Start with a private request to Dev

Subject: Would an introduction to Jo make sense?
Hi Dev,
I’m planning customer interviews for a two-person operations team. Jo’s work on small-team research seems relevant, particularly how she decides which interviews to run first.
Would you be comfortable asking whether she is open to a short conversation? A pointer to something she has already written would also help.
I’ve put a forwardable note below. No problem if the timing or fit is wrong.
Lena

The request names a decision rather than asking for general access. It does not require Dev to invent a reason on your behalf. It also offers an outcome other than a meeting.

Before sending, verify the reason. A public article or a conversation can support your understanding of Jo’s work; a guessed job responsibility cannot. Avoid using confidential project information from another relationship to make the request sound more personalized.

Include a note Dev can actually forward

Hi Jo,
I’m Lena. I’m designing a small interview programme for an operations team and am deciding which customer questions need interviews before we build.
Dev mentioned your experience with early research. Would you be open to a 15-minute conversation about how you chose the first interviews? I’m looking for process advice rather than a review of our product.
If you have an article that covers it, I’d be grateful for the link instead.
Lena

Only write “Dev mentioned” if that happened and Dev is comfortable with the attribution. Otherwise, use the real origin of your interest.

Ask for the time you actually need and keep to it. A short advice call should not quietly become a longer sales presentation.

A forwardable note should make sense without Dev’s private history with you. Remove inside references, unnecessary attachments and claims the introducer cannot verify. Dev should be able to pass it on unchanged—or decide it does not fit.

Wait for permission on both sides

Fred Wilson’s 2009 essay describes the double-opt-in introduction: check with both people before putting them together. It is a practitioner’s etiquette proposal, not a study showing a numerical increase in replies. Its practical appeal is that the recipient can decide privately whether the conversation fits. [1]

After Jo agrees, Dev’s introduction could be brief:

Lena, Jo — thanks for being open to connecting.
Lena is choosing the first customer interviews for a small operations team. Jo has relevant experience setting up early research. You both have the context below.
I’ll leave you to arrange the details.
Dev

That message should not be sent while Jo’s permission is still assumed. A contact accepting an introduction is also not agreeing to buy, invest, recruit or provide a reference. Keep the permission as narrow as it actually was.

An old offer is worth checking again

“I can introduce you sometime” may be a genuine offer, but circumstances can change. The person has a new role, the target has changed teams, or your request now concerns something different.

Find the original exchange before invoking it. You might write: “You offered to connect us after the workshop. The question I’m working on now is this—does the introduction still make sense?” That gives your contact an accurate reminder without treating a past offer as a permanent obligation.

Kluro’s find-people-who-can-help workflow can bring the earlier offer back into view. Read its date and wording, then ask the person whether the introduction still makes sense.

Close the loop without creating another task

After the introduction, send your mutual contact a short update if appropriate. “We spoke; Jo pointed me to a useful way to narrow the interviews. Thank you” tells them what happened without copying them into every scheduling exchange.

If the introduction does not happen, do not try to route around the refusal through a different private channel. You can ask another suitable person a genuinely independent question, but the original no is not a technical obstacle to defeat.

The introduction worksheet separates five states: requested, consent sought, both sides agreed, introduced, and declined or closed. It also keeps the reason and the last exchange attached. This is an organizational aid, not a scorecard for extracting value from contacts.

The best thing to remove from an introduction request is the hidden work. Say what you need, provide the context you can stand behind, and leave both people a real choice.